For this episode of Finding My User Manual, I sat down with someone who embodies unapologetic self-expression. Bethany Burgoyne, aka Sassy, is a producer, performer, podcaster, and talent agent who has made it their mission to challenge traditional beauty standards and create spaces where taboo conversations can thrive.

What struck me most about our conversation was how honest Sassy was about the journey. This isn’t a story about waking up one day and deciding to love yourself; it’s about years of unlearning, difficult choices, and finding the courage to show up differently.

Here’s what they shared.

You Are Bloody Gorgeous, Exactly How You Are

When asked what would be on page one of their user manual, Sassy didn’t hesitate: you are bloody gorgeous, exactly how you are. But this hasn’t always been their mantra.

For most of their life, the message was the opposite. At eleven years old, Sassy was handed an electric razor and told it was time to start removing leg hair, and from that moment, the expectations kept growing: shave daily, bleach your arms, hide anything that didn’t fit the hairless ideal.

The Secret Battle

For Sassy, the hardest parts weren’t the legs or the arms. It was the hair that felt less acceptable: the stomach, the chest, the facial hair. These became secret battles, fought alone with epilators and threading appointments and thousands of pounds spent over the years.

Out of all of this, facial hair was the longest struggle. What started as light, fluffy hairs at eighteen became a battle that lasted most of their twenties, plucking and threading and trying to maintain an impossible standard.

The Turning Point

The shift didn’t happen overnight. For a long time, Sassy’s biggest dream was to afford laser hair removal for their entire body, but the more they sat with that dream, the more uncomfortable it became.

Why was this the biggest dream? Because society had been shaming them into believing their natural body was a problem to solve, and once that clicked, a new possibility opened up: what if the dream could change? What if instead of removing every hair, the goal became loving every hair?

Naked Attraction and Going Public

The physical turning point came unexpectedly. One evening, while epilating and watching Naked Attraction, Sassy noticed something: not a single female body on the show had any visible body hair. Episode after episode, nothing.

When the call-out for contestants appeared, Sassy applied; not to find a date, but to show a different kind of body on mainstream television. They were selected, appeared on the show fully embracing their body hair, and came out publicly as pansexual at the same time.

It was double vulnerability on national television, and it changed everything.

Losing Friends, Finding Community

Not everyone was supportive. Some friends called it embarrassing, and some questioned why anyone would choose to keep their body hair, let alone show it on television.

Sassy had to make difficult choices about which voices to keep close and which to let go. In their place, a new community emerged online: people reaching out to say they also had belly hair, nipple hair, and facial hair. People who felt seen for the first time.

Honouring Your Body

For Sassy, honouring their body means not sharing it with people who are disrespectful to how it appears. Someone saying “you’d be so much prettier without your beard” three or four dates in? That’s a red flag, and they’re the one who has to go.

It also means being surrounded by people who support choices without commentary. Partners who will help shave legs or trim hair when asked, without questioning why or offering opinions on what looks better. Just asking, “What do you need? Let’s do this.”

Loving How It Looks

When asked what they love about their body hair now, Sassy’s answer was simple: I love how it looks.

It sounds small, but it’s huge. To look at something you were taught to hide and feel genuine admiration? That’s years of work. Sassy also loves the sensation: gentle touch along the tops of the hairs, the tingles that come with it. What was once a source of shame has become something to celebrate.

Be The Representation

Sassy’s advice for anyone on a similar journey is to remember that not everyone will accept you, and some people will share their opinions uninvited. But your response can be a simple, “How interesting you felt that was, okay to say out loud.”

On the harder days, when walking down the street or sitting on the tube feels more difficult, Sassy reminds themselves of something powerful: any younger person who sees them today is getting a new example of what a woman can look like.

That’s representation, and it matters.

Listen to the full episode:

Connect with Bethany AKA Sassy:

YouTube: @_thesassyshow

Instagram: @bxsassy2 and @_thesassyshow

Substack: Bx Sassy

TikTok: @_thesassyshow