For this episode of Finding My User Manual, I invited someone very special to step out from behind the camera; Connor Wells the producer of this podcast. Connor is a UK-based commercial and lifestyle photographer, videographer, podcast producer.

What made this conversation so interesting was that Connor and I are coming at neurodivergence from very different places. I’m late diagnosed, and he found out while still relatively young.

Here’s what he shared.

The Magic Is In The Work You’re Avoiding

When asked what would be on page one of his user manual, Connor’s answer was clear: “The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding”.

“The magic is on the other side of any hard work, I think, and there’s a lot of hard work.”

Noticing Patterns

Connor Wells went through primary school, secondary school, and college without a diagnosis. It wasn’t until he started working as a nursery practitioner that things clicked. He was working with children on the spectrum and started noticing behaviour patterns in them that he recognised in himself.

The first thing he picked up on was eye contact, and he still finds it difficult 29 years later. Then he noticed the word repetition, and then fixation on certain things.

Two Pages And Some Leaflets

Connor approached his doctor, explained his thoughts, and got referred. There was one meeting with a psychologist, a conversation at a place in Letchworth, and a few days later, a written form arrived saying he was autistic, and that was it.

As an adult, there’s not much support. His report was two pages, and it basically said he had high-functioning autism. He was given a few leaflets and then was left on his own.

Tunnel Vision As A Superpower

For Connor Wells, autism is his superpower. The tunnel vision gives him drive, and his day job is his hobby that happens to pay the bills. He’s naturally driven with certain things, even if he’s definitely not driven with others.

He’s part of a group chat with other business owners, some of whom also have autism, and they joke about how everyone else needs seven or eight hours of sleep, while they’re fine on four.

Figuring Out How It Works

Connor’s mum says that when they went to fairground rides as kids, his brother would enjoy the ride while Connor would be looking at the mechanics, trying to figure out how it worked.

It’s the same with cameras. In secondary school, his mum got him a tiny Sony point-and-shoot, and at his prom, he spent the whole evening taking photos and playing with the settings, figuring out everything about it.

Feeling Too Much

One misconception Connor Wells wants to correct: “people think autistic people don’t feel certain things”. He thinks it’s the complete opposite. “Autistic people can often feel too much of certain emotions, like empathy”

If someone’s sad, an autistic person will feel sad because they’re sad, and then feel sad again because they can’t do anything about the other person’s pain.

Finding The Hack

Connor sees his autism showing up in problem-solving throughout his career; in editing, he’ll find little life hacks and tricks to solve problems. It’s good for helping him with thinking on his feet.

There’s a saying that Google will actively hire lazy people because they find quicker and easier ways of doing things, and Connor operates the same way.

Earplugs And Flow State

Connor spends a lot of time at events and festivals. To navigate the sensory overload, he wears earplugs which helps him stay locked in and stops him from getting distracted. Sometimes just AirPods with noise cancellation will do the trick.

That flow state can be detrimental when you love your job and become a bit of a workaholic, but Connor doesn’t see it as work; he sees it as doing his hobby.

Eleven Hours Without Checking His Phone

The longest hyperfocus Connor can remember: he once edited a whole wedding in an hour and a half without opening another tab, phone on wireless charge at the other side of the office.

In contrast, Tigz sent a message to her business mentor at 7 pm, put her phone down, and the next time she looked at it, it was 6 am. Eleven hours without even thinking about her phone!

Adapt, Improvise, Overcome

Connor Wells isn’t one of those people who gets thrown by last-minute changes. His weeks are so different and sporadic that he’s learned to adapt.

If he had his way, he’d shoot in the morning and edit in the afternoon. A week of just editing would drive him mad, so he always needs something to break the week up, otherwise it feels like a nine-to-five.

A Weight Off My Shoulders

When Connor first started looking into autism, he was more nervous about not being diagnosed than being diagnosed. That imposter syndrome of wondering if this is just how everyone feels.

The diagnosis was a weight off his shoulders and a huge sigh of relief. It was a release of pressure. “It explains so much”, he said. “Okay, that makes sense. On to the next thing.”

The Worst They Can Say Is You’re Not

Connor’s advice for anyone questioning whether they might be autistic: “explore it as far as you feel able and comfortable to go. Do your research. If you think there’s something there, it’s worth pursuing.”

The worst they can say is you’re not. Or actually, you are.

Listen to the full episode:

Connect with Connor Wells:

Instagram: @cjw_hq

Facebook: @ConnorWells

TikTok: @connorjessewells

Website: connorwells.com