For this episode of Finding My User Manual, I sat down with Lesley Warden, owner of AbFabFit Club’s Gunpowder Mills, a women-only gym built on one powerful belief: strong, confident women change the world. After 25 years of working in IT, Lesley made a bold career change at 50, qualifying as a personal trainer and stepping fully into her passion for helping women feel strong, capable and happy in their own skin.

We met on a boudoir photoshoot about three years ago, and it was during our second photoshoot when she said, “Oh yeah, I think I might buy a gym.” It was wonderfully surreal but also so aligned with who she is.

What I love about Lesley is how she approaches life with the absolute whimsy of juming in with both feet and trying things. Every time I catch up with her, I never know what she’s going to tell me she’s been up to.

Here’s what she shared.

Give It A Go. Don’t Let Fear Stop You.

When asked what would be on page one of her user manual, Lesley Warden really struggled. Her husband went away and came back with a little mini user manual he’d made. “I dread to think what he put in AI to get that out”, Lesley said, but it got her thinking.

“There’s so much that we do in life, and I think fear will stop a lot of people from doing things. So my page one will always say, give it a go. Don’t let fear stop you. Say yes to everything and anything. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you now.”

She continued, “You’ve got one life. You’ve got to live it. And if you keep saying no to things, you’re never going to get the full benefit out of what we’ve been given.”

Bumbling Through Life

Lesley’s life started in IT. She did a degree, came out, and “bumbled around” for a bit. “I tend to do a lot of bumbling in my life, and things happen to land.”

She spent 12 years working for a supermarket chain, got made redundant, and found a job in a school doing IT support, which fit perfectly around family life. Her job role changed after they asked her to take on the department, doing networks instead of data. “I love data. I can crunch data. I love the fine-tuning of everything.”

She got to the point where she was going home in tears every night. Her husband said, “Seriously, if you don’t want to do this, don’t do it.” But she had a mental barrier to overcome. “I was always… you have to be independent. You need to be financially independent. You have a job. You earn your own money.”

It took her six months to actually turn around and say okay. “And I quit. And it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do.”

The 50s Housewife

After quitting, Lesley was living her life as a “50s housewife”, as she put it. “I’m cooking, I’m cleaning, I’m sewing… Just give me a little pinny, which I actually then made myself a little pinny to do all in.”

She was getting really bored, and then an advert for the gym came up. She signed up for a six-week programme in January 2020. She got talking to one of the coaches, Katie, who said, “I think you’ll be really good at this. Why don’t you have a go at doing exercise to music level two?”

Then lockdown hit. She finished level two, then did level three. The owners asked what she was going to do with her qualifications, to which she said, “I don’t know.” They mentioned they were thinking of franchising, and asked her, “Are you interested?”

“And I went, hmm, I’ll have a look. And then that happened.”

Series Of Fortunate Events

Was there anything that specifically called Lesley Warden to self-employment? “Oh, my life is full of series of fortunate events. I don’t specifically plan over it.”

She did the course with no idea of taking on the gym. She had to set up her own company just to put in an invoice and get paid for cover she was doing. “It was just supposed to be a little bit of pocket money in the back pocket.”

“It was never a conscious decision that I’m going to go off and conquer the world with PT. Because, yeah, I don’t feel that. As I say, I bumble through life. It lands in my lap and I go, oh, look, that’s good… Let’s see where that leads me.”

Saying Yes Has Not Always Been Me

Has Lesley always been adventurous? “Oh, God, no.”

She’s the youngest of three children. “My sister was always the gregarious, outgoing personality of the family. My brother’s quite quiet. He’s quite reserved. He’s the eldest. And I was kind of like the spare part at the back.”

When reflecting on herself as a child, Lesley said, “I was always too scared to do things. What if I fail? What will people think of me if I can’t do it? I’m going to look stupid. I don’t like looking stupid. Nobody likes looking stupid.”

She got to a point where she thought, “they’re having a bit more fun than I am.” She learned that there’s a limit where you realise you can either stay in your comfort zone or miss out.

“And I think as I’ve got older, you know, menopause has now hit, and it was sort of like, you know, I’m 50. I don’t really care anymore.”

The First Big Yes

What was the first big yes? “This is a bit of a surreal one.”

For Lesley, it was walking away from a marriage. “I was still brought up in the age where there was stigma around divorce. It wasn’t when I got divorced… But because that was how I grew up, and you were taught you stay together regardless.”

“And there were children involved, so there was a whole heap of amount of guilt. But it was like, if I don’t walk away from this situation where I’m not happy, it’s going to go downhill”

“You have to be a bit selfish sometimes to get the best outcome, I think.”

Returning To Self

When asked after everything was finalised, what was the feeling? “There was relief.” She wasn’t the only one who noticed, and a friend even turned around and said, “It’s nice to have you back.”

“And you don’t realise you’re turning into a different person. Who was I turning into? Whoever it was wasn’t me. And it was like I had validation to have done what I’ve done, to walk away from something that wasn’t what I needed or wasn’t beneficial to my welfare.”

Something gave her permission to go out and live. “Actually, what I’ve done is okay.”

50 And Fabulous

Since then, Lesley has said yes to a boudoir shoot. What was it like? “I loved absolutely every minute of it.”

“Opening the suitcase with all the goodies in it and going, oh, look, look what I bought. I bought a whip.”

She left feeling like she could rule the world. “Oh, yes, there is something good about me.”

Her first experience with being photographed was actually for her best friend’s daughter, who was studying photography at university. She volunteered partly because “my teenage daughter was having some self-confidence issues about how she looked, she wore baggy clothes and everything, and I got to that point and I’m like, you know what, yeah, I’ll do it.” At the graduation, the daughter had an album of photos and three main pictures, and Lesley was the only one in it.

“I wasn’t expecting to be the final product.”

Why Can’t You See The Positive In Yourself?

How do we get to body confidence? “Don’t listen to the inner monologue that you tell yourself you’re not good enough because there’s always somebody out there that is going to say, well, actually, you’re right. You’ve got to ignore the negatives, embrace the positives.”

“I’ve got a lady at the gym. She’s so negative about herself but so positive about everybody else. And you’re like, well, why do you do that? If you see the positive in absolutely everybody else and how everybody else is so wonderful, why can’t you see the positive in yourself?”

A Safe Space

I feel like Lesley and I have such a shared experience of spending time with women in very emotional spaces. For me, that’s standing in front of a camera. For her, it’s the gym, which can often be another very vulnerable place for a woman to be.

“This is why we went down the road of the ladies only.”

AbFabFit Club is a small, boutique-type gym. “The number of women that come to me because it is a ladies-only gym and it is a safe space for them… There’s no men. Most of our ladies turn up in baggy t-shirts, joggers.”

“For a lot of the ladies that come to us, they feel too intimidated to go to a general gym.”

“You don’t need that kind of aggravation. You’re there to improve yourself and make yourself feel more confident.”

Not Just Numbers

“The measures of success and the measures of improvement are not just numbers on a scale. They’re not just the numbers you can lift. They are all to do with self-esteem, self-confidence. Do you feel like you are improving? That is more important.”

Lesley has had ladies with depression, poor body image, and even PTSD. “It is a space where they can switch off. Nobody knows them. They don’t know them from work. They don’t know them from their social group. It’s a place where they can come reinvent themselves.”

“You are not just a number on a sheet. You are not just another member. You’re not just a paycheck for me. I like to get to know my members. I like to know what makes them tick.”

I DON’T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE BEAUTIFUL

What has the gym taught Lesley about her body? “Stronger, not skinny.”

“It’s taught me that actually I don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder to be strong.”

“I think when I first met you, I was probably quite skinny. I was size 10, maybe. I’ve now gone back up to a 14, but I am stronger within that 14 than I was when I was a 14 before. Knowing that I’m stronger in that body makes me proud of the body I’ve got.”

She’s signed up for Gym Race on Saturday, a bit like a Hyrox. “We’re not prepared for this in any way, shape or form.” The aim? “Get to the end and not die.”

She’s also working towards a five-minute plank. “I’m at 4.30, 4.25 at the moment. I’m nearly there.”

Loving And Appreciating What Your Body Can Do

“Loving and appreciating what your body can do, pushing it so you don’t break it. Knowing your limits, but pushing just enough beyond your limit, you can improve. It’s a very fine line, and it’s a great balance, and it’s learning to listen to your body as well.”

“It’s a wonderful machine. It’s a machine, and I need to fuel it better. I like chocolate. I’m sorry. Chocolate is amazing.”

The Scuba Diving Story

Lesley’s life is full of pushing herself. Scuba diving absolutely horrified her. It has taken years for her to let go of somebody’s hand while diving.

Her first experience in open water was in Egypt. Part of the qualification is sitting on the bottom, taking your mask off, letting it fill with water, putting it back on and clearing it. “I’m like, terrified.”

What she didn’t realise was that part of the mask had folded in, so water kept pouring in no matter how much she cleared it. She was panicking, sea water going up her nose, eyes stinging. She went back up, vomiting. Her guide said the easiest way to get back was to go back down underwater.

“And I just looked at him and went, really?”

She couldn’t do it, and some people had to swim her back. She then spent about an hour in the swimming pool doing drill after drill. “All the lads sat around the pool with beers, going, oh, how many do you think she’s going to do? Do you think she’s going to manage it?”

“If someone makes a bet on whether or not I’m going to do it, you can absolutely bet the next one. Absolutely.”

The following day, she went back down and did the drill with no problems. “Still terrifies me every time I go. But the reward is what’s down there. And you get to see something not everybody’s going to see because not everybody’s brave enough to give it a go.”

Surround Yourself With Champions

For anyone on the cusp of change, Lesley’s advice is this:

“Just do it. Both feet, jump in, go whole hog. Don’t patter around on the peripheries. You lose so much time, you lose so much experience by not grabbing hold. Grab hold and do it. You’ve got one life. You’ve got to live it to its utmost.”

“Surround yourself with people who are champions of you, not people who will drag you down. You’re always going to have people who are so nice to you to your face and then behind your back they’re like, well, she should be doing this, she should be doing that. Ignore them. You do what you feel you need to do for you. Because at the end of the day, you’ve got to live with you. They don’t.”

 

Listen to the full episode:

Connect with Lesley Warden

Website: abfabfitclub.co.uk/waltham-abbey-ladies-only-gym/

Instagram: @lesleywardenstevens