For this episode of Finding My User Manual, I sat down with Sharn Rayment, a content creator and digital consultant who’s spent over 13 years working in social media. Bold, loud, and proudly expressive, Sharn has built a life that sits firmly outside traditional expectations.

What struck me most about our conversation was how clearly Sharn could pinpoint the moment everything changed. Sometimes finding yourself isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about changing where you are.

Here’s what she shared.

Move To A Big Creative City For Best Results

When asked what would be on page one of her user manual, Sharn’s answer was specific: move to a big creative city for best results.

At 30, she and her partner finally made the move to London. It changed everything. How she felt in her house, stepping outside her front door, the things she had access to, the culture, the food. She looks back at herself in her late 20s and doesn’t recognise that person anymore.

Colourful But Insecure

In her early 20s, Sharn Rayment was already expressive, with bright pink hair, pin badges on her school blazer, and colourful outfits. But underneath, she was insecure, hiding behind makeup rather than using it to express herself. She didn’t see herself as creative, even though creativity was always there.

The expression was never about wanting attention; it was just how she felt. Put her in something plain beige, and she’d feel unwell, but the right outfit changes her mood, her confidence, and the way she interacts with people for the entire day.

Finding The Right Place

What drew Sharn to London wasn’t just the vibrancy; it was the diversity of how people live their lives. Unmarried, child-free, different relationship setups, different family structures. None of that is weird in London. She meets people all the time with different stories.

In Essex, she’d walk down the street with bright pink hair, and people would shout comments, whereas in London, she can wear absolutely anything and no one points it out. That’s exactly what she wanted; not attention, just the freedom to exist without being made to feel different.

The Pink Coat Moment

There was a specific day it clicked. Back in 2021, not long after moving, Sharn bought a big, obnoxious pink fluffy coat, and then walked out her front door wearing it, went to the local park, and thought: this is it. This is why I’m here.

She didn’t want to save the pink coat for special occasions; she wanted it to be her everyday coat, and it was.

Finding The Language

Sharn Rayment’s queerness isn’t new. She remembers telling her partner back in school that she was maybe 80-90% straight and 10% attracted to women. It was always there, but she just didn’t have the words for it.

Being in a long-term relationship with a man meant she never felt compelled to explore it further. But as she met more queer people and heard the language they used, things started to click. Her partner was actually the one who suggested she might have some demisexuality in there, and when she looked it up, she thought “that’s it”.

She used to wonder if she was “queer enough” since she hadn’t had certain experiences, but she’s learned that queerness isn’t an action; it’s about how you feel inside.

People Think You Just Post A Selfie

Sharn started documenting her house renovation on TikTok during lockdown, and it took off. People were interested, and it became a full-time job alongside her full-time job in TV social.

What people don’t understand about content creation: coming up with the idea, scripting it, thinking about how to shoot it, checking the lighting, checking the angle, checking the phone storage, recording multiple takes, backing up footage, editing, writing voiceover scripts, recording voiceover, adding transitions, grading, exporting, making cover images, posting, replying to comments, scheduling, sharing to stories. A one-minute video is not one minute of work.

Smiley Face Wallpaper

Sharn’s house is a mismatch of stories, with every room being different. Her favourite spaces are the bathroom with its orange geometric tiles in a random pattern, and the loft bedroom with it’s smiley face wallpaper.

A tradesperson once asked if the smiley face room was the nursery, which seems impractical as there’s a king-sized bed in there. She just wanted silly wallpaper because she likes it, and that’s as far as it goes.

At Peace With It Now

Five years ago, Sharn Rayment would have had a defence system in place when people questioned who she was, but now, she’s older, in the right place, and surrounded by people from all walks of life. On her street alone, no two houses have the same setup; whether they be single people or couples, there are all different cultures, races, and sexualities.

Her Nan still asks if she’s getting a diamond ring for Christmas, and she takes it in jest now. The pent-up frustration and anger she used to feel about being different has gone.

Don’t Dim Your Shine

Sharn’s advice is “don’t dim your shine for other people. Dress obnoxiously at family functions if that’s who you are. Sit through the uncomfortable feelings of not fitting in, because you’ll feel so much worse trying to fit into a mould where you don’t belong”.

If you’re not happy where you are, start looking for the place where you do feel happy. Location matters more than the house itself, as she’d rather live in a flat where she wants to be, rather than a big house somewhere she doesn’t.

She lived in a big house in Essex and wasn’t happy; now she lives somewhere that needed a complete renovation (which was stressful), but her life is so much better.

Listen to the full episode:

Connect with Sharn Rayment:

Instagram: @sharnshouse

TikTok: @sharnshouse

YouTube: @sharnshouse